Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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