New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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