i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
