someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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