He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize