i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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