just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
