I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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