batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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