Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm at about main and main street
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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