I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The struggles of a small town man whore
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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