New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
whose parrot is this?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
