Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize