Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
