so that wasnt chicken after all
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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