how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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