it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize