I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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