If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
