i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
