Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
