k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize