What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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