someone owes me an orgasm
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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