You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize