YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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