Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
