Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
