Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Boobs are out for the taking
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
