We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
