Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
...so i touched it.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
well you can't waste a boner
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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