Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
