You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
