I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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