You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
