New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
