We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
