Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
