Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
