I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
