She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
