i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize