You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
