We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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