is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
