quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize