He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm both gender and math confused
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
