If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
