My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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