My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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