Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
