My sheets look like a crime scene.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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