Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
