google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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