I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
